Stress Relief
by Dragonsbain
Summary: The atmosphere on the TARDIS is too tense. River decides to lighten the mood.


Dear Gentle Reader,

I have yet to finish my STNG and Gatchaman stories but I needed to get this little scene out. Hurricane Irene gave me the chance to catch up with my Dr. Who. Doctors 9, 10 and 11 to be exact. This little scene kept building in the back of my mind. I wanted to post this before everything changes in about 28 hours with Episode 13 Season 6.

For total disclosure I started this story the night of 30/9/11. I will finish and post 7/10/11. I have not seen "The Wedding of River Song" as of posting time. I have heard that it was an amazing episode. Moffat did not screw up the season ender. Matt and Alex did such a great job that people want to give them an award for it. Also," the last 15 minutes is having the same effect on people as The Singing Towers did on the Doctor".

If you get the reference.

I guess I really want to put this scene right after the amazing scene when the Doctor was upset because he thought everyone was cross with him in "The Impossible Astronaut". Ok I'll say it's within the same hour as that scene. I'm also keeping in the boundaries of the show. Mainly, Doctor Who is a family show so I will keep the PG rating.

Amy hated the look on the Doctor's face. She couldn't tell him that she had just seen him die. She tried her best to comfort him. Amy knew that the Doctor knew that she was omitting information.

" Pond, unless you are ready to tell me whatever it is that your hiding why don't you take a nap. I need all of you rested."

"Doctor, we aren't mad at you. We need you to know that." Rory said and walked in front of the Doctor.

The Doctor grabbed Rory by the shoulders and looked deep into his eyes. Amy and River could hide their intentions, Rory was a horrible liar. The Doctor saw deep sadness and a lot of concern for himself in Rory's eyes. Rory pulled the Doctor into a deep bear hug. The Doctor allowed himself to fall into Rory. Rory didn't know anything else to do but just gently rock. He could feel the Doctor shaking a bit.

Rory was surprised by how small and fragile the Doctor felt in his arms. The Doctor's reputation was so much bigger than the Doctor actually was. Rory lifted his head and saw River and Amy smiling at him. Amy mouthed "good idea" to her husband. River caught his eye and added "he needed that". Rory lowered his head and whispered;

"I will do whatever I can to help you. All you need do is ask."

Rory realized the Doctor was shaking with fear. He assumed the Doctor was trying not to cry. The Doctor whispered to Rory;

"Thank-you Rory the Roman. I now know I'm going to need protecting. I need a guardian."

The Doctor squeezed Rory tight. Rory smiled and returned the squeeze. The Doctor relaxed and push away from Rory.

"Bedtime for all the humans."

"You're sending us to bed?" Amy asked through a laugh.

"Yes I am. I have work to do. Now get going." The Doctor dismissed them with a wave of his hand and disappeared under the console.

The Doctor heard two sets of footsteps leaving the room. He really didn't feel like talking. He was scared and concerned. He had yelled at Amy that she should never decide what information he gets to hear. All the sudden he didn't want to know. He would find out in time. River was concerned. She could never totally sneak up on him. She was maybe a meter away and he was still lost in thought. River sat down next to where he had stuck his head under the console.

"River, I don't want to talk."

The Doctor tried to keep his voice even. All the deep thinking had brought him back to the Library. The Doctor saw the same hopelessness in Rory's eyes as he felt when handcuffed and unable to stop River's death.

"They saw me die. But why?" The Doctor thought to himself.

River could hear his breathing and knew he was upset. She had hoped he hadn't figured it out, already. He could seriously mess up time if he changed it before they had a chance to figure it out. River knew she had to refocus his mind.

"Sweetie?" River asked with her usual dollop of sunshine mixed in.

"I thought I sent you all to bed."

"But I'm not tired. I would rather stay here and help you. Or are you just fiddling with the TARDIS to avoid us?"

"I never fiddle with the TARDIS. She goes through a lot of abuse. I have to keep her in tip top shape."

River could hear him getting slightly annoyed. Better annoyed than depressed. She loved this man immensely but River knew that he couldn't hide his emotions very well at all. Especially when they were alone, together. If he had to bury what he was feeling then he wasn't functioning on all cylinders. Like he was doing now.

"What to do?" River thought. She pondered for a moment or two before a great idea popped into her head.

"Sweetie?"

"What River?" the Doctor said with a sigh.

"I have a marvelous game to play."

"With everything that is occurring you want to play a game?"

"Yes I do. It will help you relax."

The Doctor mumbled a reply. River grabbed his jacket and pulled him from under the console.

"You need to relax. You know that you think well when you relax."

The Doctor closed his eyes and sighed. River was right. She was almost always right.

River looked at the Doctor and could tell he was ready to play.

"I'm going to call this the "Little Spoiler Game". We tell each other little spoilers that will not change the time line. "

The Doctor thought that was a wonderful idea. River was too smart to let anything big slip. So have some fun and it was another chance to bond with her.

"I'll go first." said the Doctor. "You shouldn't eat flowers that are served to you as food. You either get sick to your stomach or break out in hives. There are no edible flowers for you."

River smiled.

"Thank you Sweetie. I hate getting sick."

"When you are offered to buy 3 clay pots in about 3 years just do it." River stated.

"Why?"

"They are full of scrolls. Very important scrolls."

"What's on the scrolls?"

"Spoilers."

The Doctor just laughed. They went back and forth like this for a half an hour giving each other warnings about embarrassing situations and shopping opportunities. The Doctor had relaxed enough that he was lounging on the floor between River and the console.

River was really going to save his dignity with the next one. River hoped that she could get a semi big spoiler in return.

"Ok, Sweetie. This next one is a semi big one."

"Stick to the rules."

"I am. Just listen."

The Doctor quieted down and listened intently.

"I'm going to tell you a list of movies that you cannot watch alone. You really should not watch them with anyone else but me."

The Doctor opened his mouth but River shushed him into silence.

" Bambi, Dumbo, E.T...

"Aren't those just cartoons? I think I'm big enough to watch cartoons alone. I'm not a child."

"Shall I tell you the story?"

"Yes. Please tell me."

"Remember, you asked me to." River's face had an odd expression on it, equal halves anger and bemusement.

"Ok. It was about 3 am. I was in my cell at Storm Cage. One of my regular guards woke me up and told me there was someone on the phone that he could barely understand asking for me. It was you my love. I had to calm you down for 10 minutes before you could make any sense. I don't know if you were just having a really bad week. You never told me. I know you were alone on the TARDIS. You just seemed super sensitive and something in Dumbo cracked you wide open."

"I don't fall apart like that." the Doctor snapped.

River looked deep into his eyes and said, "Tell that to somebody who doesn't know you."

The Doctor blushed and motioned for her to continue.

"All of this would have been just fine. Except that we were being listened to by the Warden. The next time you came to visit the Warden and a couple of guards started making rude comments just out of your hearing range. I never let you hear the comments and I just lost my temper. I gave the Warden 2 black eyes and a few guards were missing teeth. Needless to say I was thrown in Solitary for 2 days after that. I did get the Warden in trouble for eavesdropping, though."

"You beat up your guards because they were making fun of me?"

"Yes I did. I told you I lost my temper. Sorry."

The Doctor sat up and pulled her into a hug. River just fell into his arms. She could feel him trying not to laugh.

"My River, defending my honor. You are amazing. I hope you know that."

"Yes I do." River mumbled into his shoulder.

"Sweetie?"

"Yes."

"What kind of Doctor do I become?"

The Doctor hated that he had let that slip. He was now looking at the woman he loved and saw the look in her eyes. It would almost be fair to tell her. Considering what she had just told him. But she had to make the choice herself or else she might never find him.

"To big. Major Spoiler."

The Doctor stood up and stretched against the TARDIS. He helped River up. She gave him a look that always melted him. The Doctor gave her a quick kiss and laughed.

"Not going to work, River."

The Doctor brushed the end of her nose and walked around the console. River was going to try again.

"What do I get a doctorate in?"

The Doctor was setting the TARDIS to take them back to 1969. He smiled and stated;

"Spoilers." in his best River voice.

"Oh you just think you're so cute." River said as she stood next to The Doctor.

"Why yes I am. You've told me so." The Doctor was trying hard not to smile. He had to focus on the job at hand.

"So there is nothing I can do to make you tell me?"

River was just going to give up. She trusted him. If he wasn't telling her there was a good reason.

"I am 903 years old. I've been in so many wars. Traveled with more armies than I remember. I have seen and experienced many methods of persuasion. My dear River, there is nothing you can do to me that will make me tell you."

The Universe had just handed River Song a beautiful setup. The game was on now. He stood there looking smug. River didn't care about her question anymore. She was going to make him eat his words. River came up behind The Doctor and buried her face in his hair. He was deeply scared. It was affecting his normally calming scent. The Doctor wanted to just fold himself into River. Make it all disappear, just for a while.

"You are, yet again, so wrong. My love." River whispered.

The Doctor gently pushed her back.

"River. I thank-you for the distraction. I am calmer and clearer now. Now I have work to do. So rest that beautiful head of yours. I will wake you when we arrive."

Rule number one: The Doctor lies.

River allowed herself to be dismissed from the room. She walked for a bit and decided to turn around. He was sitting down rubbing his temples. River decided that she was going to chase away the storm cloud he was in. She quietly approached. Three meters away she announced her presence.

"Oh, Doctor..."

The Doctor turned around and saw his River giving him a look that he had never seen. The Doctor's mind was puzzling about her look. He couldn't read her. Somewhere he had seen this before. He was used to his prior selves talking in his head. A few of them said; "Run boy. Just run."

The Doctor sprinted like a gazelle towards The Pond's room. The Doctor wasn't sure why he was running but who is he to question his prior wisdom. River had forgotten how fast he could be when he wanted to be. The Doctor was close to their room.

"Rory! Help! "

"What the …" Amy said as she woke up.

"Rory!"

"Rory. The Doctor is screaming for you." Amy said as she shook her husband into consciousness.

"What? What?" Rory said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

The Doctor had reached The Pond's room and started pounding on the door. Amy opened the door and The Doctor flew into the room and slammed the door behind him. Amy and Rory were alarmed at his expression.

"What's the matter? Who is after you?" Amy asked.

River had stopped running and just walked to Amy and Rory's room. They weren't going to protect him. But they would hold him till she got there. River walked up to the door and knocked. The Doctor was standing on the other side of the bed.

"Don't answer it." The Doctor said quietly.

"Sorry, to disturb your nap but is the Doctor in there?" River asked in a melodic tone.

The Doctor was silently pleading with them not to open the door.

"River. What happened?" Amy asked.

River gave them a rundown of the past hour.

"Sounds innocent enough. Why are you after him?" Rory asked River through the door.

"He ended the conversation by stating there was nothing I could do to him to make him tell me."

Amy and Rory looked at the Doctor with a "How stupid are you?" look.

"Now please understand I don't want my question answered." River said.

"Doctor confused. Doctor very confused." The Doctor said.

River could hear Amy and Rory's laughter through the door. Amy opened the door as The Doctor hid behind Rory.

"You promised me protection." The Doctor said as Rory was still giggling. "You promised."

"Hi Sweetie." River walked into the room and stood by Amy.

Amy and Rory read River's expression perfectly.

"She is going to hurt me." The Doctor said from behind Rory.

Rory realized that The Doctor wasn't lying. He really didn't know.

"River. Is he serious?" Rory asked.

"I'm betting it's probably been a half century since…" River stated.

"Yeah. With all of the timey, whimy stuff it probably has been." Amy said.

"Rory if you don't hand him over I'm going to have to go through you to get to him." River said with a big smile on her face. Amy was giggling next to her.

Rory turned around and addressed the Doctor.

"Doctor I won't last 30 seconds. I have no defense in this type of fight. So, if I were you, I would either run or apologize."

The Doctor looked confused and a bit sad. No help.

"Don't worry you two I'll take care of that." River said.

The Doctor realized that he had backed into a corner with The Pond's bunk bed. River was blocking the door. Rory was covering him, somewhat. The Doctor backed up to the ladder.

"Your trapped, Doctor. Just give up." Rory stated.

"I am not trapped. I just have limited escape routes."

The Doctor ran up the ladder and jumped over Rory. Amy and River were momentarily shocked and didn't move. The Doctor saw an escape route through the women. River and Amy were just a tad faster. They both caught him by one arm as he landed. He felt himself spun around in River's arms and lowered to the floor. River sat on his hips as Amy held his arms. He was bucking trying to wiggle out of their grasps.

"For someone who has nothing to fear from me, you are sure struggling a lot." River said through a laugh.

The Doctor looked like he was going to start lecturing them. Then, an image came into his mind's eye. It was Rose pinning him down on the couch and..

"I surrender."

"To late Time Lord. Amy you might want to take notes."

River's right hand was slowly walking up his ribcage. She was counting to herself.

"Ah, right here."

River was gently stroking under his third rib. Amy released his hands and sat protecting his head from knocking into anything. Rory watched as The Doctor snapped his eyes shut and tried to roll away from River. It was like watching a soda being shaken up. Eventually it would explode.

"Remember the cute laugh I told you he had Amy."

Amy shook her head to the affirmative.

"Well here it is." River stated as she reached around with her left hand and started kneading the back of his knee.

The Doctor's body exploded into laughter. He couldn't roll anywhere. His laughter came out stuttering, at first. Then he burst into helpless, rolling laughter. River had relocated her hands and was attacking both ribcages at once.

"Isn't that just adorable?" River stated calmly.

" Yes. It's coming out like waves." Amy said trying not to get giggly herself.

"Whenever, I'm having a bad day. I just think of this and everything gets better."

"Riv..er! Stop!" The Doctor screamed.

River actually stopped tickling him. She was letting him catch his breath. River turned his head and wiped the tears from his eyes. She was totally enraptured by him right now. The Doctor looked like he wanted to kill her.

"What's the matter Sweetie? Still a bit of that black cloud weighing you down? I'll fix that. Amy, use this area sparingly."

River's hands started dancing over his stomach. The Doctor let out a series of bubbling shrieks. She kept it up for about twenty seconds. The Doctor had curled around River's hands trying to pinch them into a frozen state. It didn't work. River lifted herself off of him and let him roll onto his side. The Doctor just kept laughing.

"I forgot to tell you both that the Gallifreian nervous system holds the imprint for a minute or so. So, don't overdo."

"You are..(giggle)… all…(giggle) fired." The Doctor said breathlessly.

River sat down next to him and rubbed his back. The Doctor slowed his breathing and tried to gather himself. He really wanted to get mad but he couldn't. He saw love for himself in all three sets of eyes. He definitely picked them all correctly.

Whatever happened from this point forward, The Doctor knew that he was loved. Whether he wanted to admit it or not.


End file.
